In chapter 20 of The Mental Game of Poker, Jared Tendler breaks down the most common fears poker players experience and explains why each one exists, how it damages performance, and what actually resolves it.
Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is the most widespread fear in poker. It does not simply mean being afraid to lose—it is about what losing means to you.
Some players treat failure as feedback; others experience it as a judgment on their identity. When failure feels personal, it creates pressure that leads to overthinking, hesitation, and playing only when conditions feel perfect—ironically making failure more likely.
Tendler identifies several major causes:
High Expectations Instead of Goals
When players expect certain results (win rates, stakes, income), failure feels shocking and confusing. Expectations assume success should happen. Goals accept that success must be earned through adjustment and work. Replacing expectations with goals removes fear.
Choking in Big Spots
If you freeze in big moments but don’t understand why, uncertainty grows. That uncertainty produces fear, which increases the likelihood of choking again. This cycle is driven by accumulated emotion that must be resolved.
Trying to Control What You Can’t
Players often try to control variance, opponents, or outcomes. This steals attention from what can be controlled—decision quality—and increases anxiety.
Ignoring Past Success
When progress and small wins go unrecognized, it feels like you fail more than you actually do. Actively tracking what you have achieved restores balance and reduces fear.
Believing You Must Win Every Session
Some cash-game players view any losing session as failure. Since winning every session is impossible, this belief guarantees fear. Realistic goals eliminate it.
Expecting Success to Be Easy
Players who experience early success may collapse when setbacks appear. They lack the skill to work through adversity, so fear grows when things get hard.
Equating Failure with Being a Failure
If losing means you are worthless, you will either avoid trying or become paralyzed by pressure. This is a confidence issue that must be fixed at the core.
Fear of Success
Some players subconsciously fear doing well because of what success brings:
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more attention,
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criticism from others,
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pressure to keep performing,
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or feeling undeserving.
This fear is rooted in unstable confidence. When confidence is solid, success does not feel threatening—it just becomes part of growth.
Fear of Mistakes
Players who misunderstand how learning works become afraid of mistakes. They expect perfection and assume that repeating errors means something is wrong with them.
This fear shows up as:
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rushing decisions,
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quitting after small errors,
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overthinking,
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or second-guessing constantly.
Mistakes are required for improvement. When you fear them, you are actually fearing the learning process.
Fear of a Bad Run
Repeated downswings leave emotional scars. Over time, players don’t just fear losing money—they fear the psychological pain that comes with it.
The solution is not blind courage. It is improving how you handle downswings:
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reducing tilt,
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stabilizing confidence,
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strengthening your worst-game.
When bad runs stop feeling traumatic, the fear of them fades.
Fear of Moving Up in Stakes
Many players treat moving up as a single do-or-die event. This creates massive pressure.
Tendler suggests treating higher limits as data-gathering missions:
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observe player tendencies,
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discover your own weaknesses,
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then return to lower stakes to improve.
Moving up becomes a gradual skill-building process rather than a test of worth.
Risk Aversion
Avoiding big bluffs, tough games, or higher stakes is often not about money—it is about protecting yourself from emotional triggers like tilt, low confidence, or fear.
As those deeper issues improve, risk aversion fades. Setting aside a small, defined bankroll for taking profitable risks can help retrain your mindset.
Core Message
Fear in poker is not random. Each type of fear points to a specific misunderstanding about learning, confidence, control, or variance. When those misunderstandings are corrected, fear stops running your game and becomes something you can handle and even use.